Josph'ere

August 9th (Sunny)

hoyoku — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 01:46:42 +0000

(9.41 AM) – Jesus, I don’t want to hide anything but I am really suffering. Mentally I am depressed. I felt terrible. It’s like there is a cob web and a maze that I just can’t walk out of. I feel like giving up. Where are you Jesus? I really need you. As much as those people who got their miracles, where is mine? T__T Lord, do you have any idea how much torment and agony I am going through now? The thought of it makes me wanna just end everything down here. It’s just too huge and too unbearable for me anymore. 10 years now, so what Lord? I really don’t know. Why am I born if I need to go through all these pain and sicknesses? Lord, I cannot anymore. I can’t hang on anymore. I just can’t. I’ve done what I believe you have told me to. But I am still miserable. The yoke and the burden on my shoulders are getting heavier. Lord, I felt crushed. I felt torturing in my mind. It’s like my mind is going to blow up anytime soon. Lord, why. Don’t you care?

I love my mum…

hoyoku — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 15:06:16 +0000

(10.58 PM) – Lord, she is very dear to my heart. And you know that tears will roll down my cheek. Father, I declare the work of Your Son Jesus Christ on the cross all over my mum’s body right now. I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over her entire body, soul, and spirit. In Jesus name, amen.

My mum is the greatest mum on planet earth, at least I think she is. I could never have walked thru my 26 years of life without her care and love. Her heart beats for her children, every single one of them. She never hesitated in loving us the way she know how. She’d always put us above her own interests, and she never think twice about giving us the best food and eating the leftovers herself.

Mum, I love you, and I am gonna commit you into the hands of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will take good care of you. Mum, you’re the healed of the Lord!

May 17th (Sunny)

hoyoku — Mon, 17 May 2010 03:04:00 +0000

(10.55 AM) – Ladies and gentleman, babies and elephants, this is not shampoo. This is anointing oil, anointing oil that has been prayed over on the 9th of May 2010, set apart to glorify Jesus. This is the oil that I bring along with me everywhere I go. This is the oil that will destroy the yoke of the enemy over my body and my soul (my spirit is already victorious because of the cross of Jesus Christ). This is the anointing of God that will destroy every sick cell in the body and cause new lease of life to overtake me in Jesus name. I love it when Pastor Prince says “God’s way is always you do what you can do in the natural, and He will do what you cannot do.” It is like God to use the weak things to comfound the mighty. One small little bottle of oil, what is that compared the the debilitating diseases which has been haunting me for the past 10 years? Nay, in Christ, the olive oil a picture of the Son of the living God being crushed and tormented so that health can flow in our bodies. Lord, I am in and of myself weak, but in You I am strong. Halleluiah.. O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining… When I sang that last night, Alvin told me that “It’s gonna rain soon”.. *sweat*

May 13th (Sunny)

hoyoku — Thu, 13 May 2010 02:47:41 +0000

(10.06 AM) – My neck has been very stiffed and my shoulders very tense of late. Maybe due to the not-very-good sleep that I have. But regardless of the times and seasons, whether good or bad, my eyes shall always be on the Lord. The anointing oil with the prayer of faith shall save the sick. Father in Jesus name, cause that yoke over my neck and shoulders to be destroyed completely. In Jesus name, I receive that.

I love maturity in every area of life. Of late, I am looking for a time where I can just sit down with my “wise counsel” and just talk over things with the Lord’s maturity being present. I longed for that fellowship that can impart wisdom into me and lift some of my stress away. That’s why it is very important to carefully choose who we want to spend time with most of the time. I don’t mean you have to avoid all your friends, but I mean you have to choose carefully who you spend time with most of the time. If you spend much time with ungodly people, your thoughts will deviate from godliness as well. By godliness I meant the new covenant godliness. The mentality of God’s grace is important in our every day life. I want my surrounding to be full of people who imparts grace to the hearers.

In life, our utmost priority everyday should be to make ourselves happy in the Lord either by spending time reading or listening to the word, or talking to brothers and sisters in Christ. George Muller, a great man of God who experienced numerous miracles in life, said that his utmost priority in life every morning is to make himself happy in the Lord. I thought there is something that we really can learn from this man. Only when we are happy in the Lord, then can we make others around us happy also. If we are not happy in the Lord, we tend to draw our happiness from somewhere else, and it is a disaster when we are trying to draw our happiness from our partner of opposite sexes. Your “he” or your “she” should not based their happiness on you, each one of us should be able to be spiritually independent, going to the Lord always for nourishment and love.

I believe in being radical. I love radical christians. Christianity is not just another religion. Many christians perhaps have heard this statement, but do you really have a revelation of it? I say again, christianity is not a religion. Still don’t get it? CHRISTIANITY IS NOT A RELIGION! I wish I know Greek. I would have use the word “oo may”, which denotes a double negative in greek for “no” in this statement then. Let me give you an example, even if you have read the entire bible till the cover peels off, but you have not seen Jesus in the bible, you’re practising religion. A man who has a relationship with Jesus, one single verse from the bible, they will jump up with joy because they caught the revelation. Another example, if you read the bible to find out do’s and don’ts, it’s religion again. A third example, if you read your bible or pray in order to make your conscience feel better and avoid feeling guilty, you are taking christianity as a religion. Still don’t get it? If you pray just before you eat, just because every other christian does it, it’s religion again! The true test to knowing whether you treat christianity as a religion or a relationship with the Lord, is when you faced challenges in life. Who do you go to when you faced challenges in life? Are you defeated by just a small pimple or do you believe that He cares about your pimples? Are you believing what the bible says? Honestly, if we all believed in the bible, there would be lesser doctors and nurses all around the world. For if christians really believe that when we pray and lay hands on the sick, people will get well, doctors will definitely lose their job! What are you believing in your heart? Christianity – another religion that is powerless? Or Jesus who has all the ability to heal, save, prosper etc. If we’d believe what He said in His word, we would have acted on it by faith. But I bring you good news, even when you lack faith, He is your all in all. The bible says we are complete in Christ (Colossians – find the exact verse yourself). Our faith is also complete in Him. I believe, I really believe Lord. Even though my eyes have not seen, my heart believes. Amen.

I actually felt better saying all these. Well, I guess this is the only place where I can be comfortable, spilling out everything that is in my heart. You might just be a passer by who don’t care at all what I’ve written, but I just write to make myself happy. Jesus and me, if Jesus is happy with me, and I am happy in Him, that is all that I will ever need. Amazing, I actually felt stress being lifted up. =)

P/S: I suddenly missed the cooking by my Sarawakian friends Pauline, Sui Theng, and Kai Ling during my degree years. They would always offer to cook for me, and I have been eating free meals for almost a year. They gave me a sense of hommie feeling. I still remember the curry tang hoon that Kai Ling cooked. I laughed at her but my heart appreciated that effort. And Pauline’s chicken. Felt hungry just by thinking about that. Kai Ling’s birthday is coming soon, so happy birthday in advance! Hope you guys are doing real fine.

May 11th (Sunny)

hoyoku — Tue, 11 May 2010 02:03:37 +0000

(9.36 AM) – Thank God for good brothers who are in Christ, i.e. Alvin and the Chipmunks (Darren and Melvin), who always encourages me in the ways of the Lord. I am grateful for this bunch of wise counsel who has been around me for the past 10 years. Last Saturday, while we were listening to Pastor Prince sermon on the anointing oil, I dozed off half way because the hour is late. So these guys continued watching the sermon. Lo and behold, suddenly I felt somebody rubbing my forehead with oil and saying “In Jesus name bla bla bla”. I could hear it was Melvin’s voice. Goodness, these fellas actually anointed my head without my permission, and I was like a human prototype for them to practise the anointing oil. Of course, I was glad at that very moment that they actually anointed me with oil the way the bible teaches to do it. Wow~ Isn’t it good to have a bunch of radical believers around you? They spur me on in the ways of the Lord.

The aftermath of the anointing oil dvd, I went to cold storage and bought a bottle of oil myself. I went home, listened to the message again, and prayed over the oil at the end of the sermon. Now my bottle of olive oil is now set apart, ready to used for God’s glory. For some reason, I felt faith being released as I anoint almost every part of my body with it. I started to feel “oily” in some sense. I anoint my wrist, my kidneys, my eyes, my head, my neck, my fistula, my butt, my bladder, everything you could think of, I am gonna anoint them with the holy anointing oil. One time not enough, anoint many many time la! That’s what I told myself. I believe, I believe. Lord, I believe! For every body parts that I anointed, there is a reason:

1) I anoint my wrist so that the pain will be gone.

2) I anoint my kidneys so that they are healed.

3) I anoint my eyes so that I can see God’s revelation and also see wisdom in handling my research and people.

4) I anoint my head so that the dandruff will go in Jesus name.

5) I anoint my neck so that I can have good sleep every night.

6) I anoint my fistula so that it will remain in good condition.

7) I anoint my bladder so that it will come back to normal shape and function as it ought to.

I don’t know how, I don’t know why, I am just gonna anoint myself with the holy anointing oil, by which the picture of Jesus’ death was portrayed clearly in the crushing of the olive fruit for oil. The finished work of Jesus avails to me and my household. This is not ordinary oil anymore, it has been prayed for and it will be used to glorify Jesus. To remind me that this oil has been prayed for and is the anointing oil by which the Lord will use for His glory, I’ve decided that I will put down the date that I prayed for the oil here. I, Joseph Ho Yong Kuen, NRIC: DON’T WANT TO TELL YOU, has prayed over my bottle of olive oil on the 9th of May 2010. It is now no longer natural oil, but oil of the Holy Ghost. By faith, I believe. Amen.

With myself it is always easy to apply the anointing oil, but somehow when someone close to my heart is having some physical discomfort, it becomes natural for me to just ask them to consult a doctor. Perhaps I do not have the courage, or perhaps I thought they would think I have gone cuckoo. But whatever it is, I know the Lord has regard for even the smallest mustard seed size faith, and He will work miracles even in this case. I know this because in Matthew 8, the Holy Spirit put two encounters of Jesus with two different characters (the leper and the centurion) who have drastic difference in the level of faith they have (the leper had no faith for he said IF you will, you can make me clean; the centurion had great faith, saying Jesus you don’t need to come to my house, just say the word, and my servant will be healed), but the Lord healed them all. Joan has been having toothache since yesterday. It broke my heart to see her tooth aching, even if it is just a little tooth, It is just like when your family and your loved ones are sick, even the slightest stomachache or headache will break your heart. To my dismay, I prayed yesterday and nothing happened. This morning, her tooth still aches. So, I open a picture of her in my pc, one of the few pictures that I can see her teeth. And I anoint her teeth in the picture in the name of Jesus as an act of faith. I believe the Lord sees my intention. Well, of course, I wiped the oil away with my tissue later. But I believe the Lord will do something. He will. If it breaks my heart to see her in pain, it breaks the Lord’s heart even more because the Lord create her. Every feature and detail in her body was designed by our master designer in heaven. Lord, I anoint her teeth with your holy anointing oil in Jesus name. Fear not, only BELIEVE, these are the comforting words of Jesus in this situation.

It is about time to start work again. My days will be fruitful and blessed in Him, because I am His beloved.

April 30th (Sunny)

hoyoku — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:13:16 +0000

(10.13 AM) – I read my brother’s blog where he shared his testimony (http://superstarpastor.blogspot.com/2010/04/not-good-testimony.html). He reminded me of the reason why the gospel is so important to us. When I said us, I meant my close brothers is Christ, i.e. Alvin and the chipmunks (Melvin and Darren). Recalling back to the days where we were ridiculed and counselled for preaching the gospel boldly, it was a terrifying thought. When I was lying on my death bed, all that I know is that Jesus is the savior. I know nothing more than that. But Jesus made me recover speedily. I thank God for many great man of God who has grinded my teeth with the pure and adulterated word of God, which made me grow in Him. If I did not hear from these man of God like Kenneth E. Hagin, Joseph Prince, Smith Wigglesworth, or even Charles Spurgeon, I would have been blinded by the traditions of men. One of the erroneous teaching from the tradition of men that I’ve heard is that “It is not God’s will to heal everyone”. I’ve come a long way from that. There is no way in the new testament where Jesus rejected a sick guy and tells him,”Oh.. it’s not God’s will to heal you, so sorry, you just gotta endure the pain.. God is teaching you humility through this sickness.. He has a plan for you in these..” I am exaggerating but sounds familiar isn’t it? The bible says in Matthew 8:17 that Himself took our infirmities and healed all our diseases. What duh? You wanna believe men’s tradition or God’s word?

Another instance when I spoke in the church concerning this statement in Romans 6: Shall we sin more so that grace may abound? I asked the question “Does grace still abound when we sin?” Nobody dared to answer this question because we were all taught that when we sin, God disappears like a thousand miles away from us in no time. It seems that God is so fragile that our sin can actually undo all that Jesus did on the cross. It is a ridiculous. Think for one moment, what is the purpose of Jesus going to the cross? I believe all christians will say “To die for our sins”. Then after we have received all that Jesus has done for us, and believe that He died for our sins, are you saying that now when you sin, He will deny what He has done on the cross and leave you? This is strange fire. Doesn’t make sense at all! The truth is He removed our sins completely, and the Book of Hebrews says God will remember our sins NO MORE. What a savior!

I was interrupted by my supervisor for almost 2 hours. So I forgot what I wanted to say. In any case, the gospel means a life and death to me, because of my past experiences. Will share again when I have my thoughts back.

April 26th (Sunny)

hoyoku — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 02:12:57 +0000

(9.33 AM) – There must be rest in a relationship. This rest can only be found in Christ. I am actually saying something that most people do not have the guts to say, or at least they lack the revelation in this area. A successful relationship must have the elements of rest in it. If Christ is not in the centre of the relationship, everything will blow up. And yes, courtship is the best time to quarrel. In quarreling you truly can know the character of that person. It is actually a good way of observing a human being. Back to the area of rest, I’ve observed that there must be security in a relationship, and this security can only be found and rooted in Christ alone. Both parties, whether the guy or the gal must be secure in the Lord. They should not demand from each other too much, because human drawing from human is always a disaster. Of course, I am speaking to myself as well, because I too sometimes fall into insecurity, and in order to fill that hole, I sometimes demand from my girlfriend without me even realizing it. Yes, it takes courage to say all those things out so that I can help people who are experiencing the same. I have observed that the only time that I demand a lot from a human being, is the time when I am frustrated, and the meter of God’s love seems to run dry. At times when God’s love filled my hearts, I do not do or say crazy things. When we are insecure, even the slightest things that your partner does (which seemed harmless) looks like a thorn that you dislike. But whenever you are filled with the love of God, your capacity to even love him/her increases. One thing I have learnt is always to look to Jesus in everything. When I have any problems or cares, I should not throw all the burdens on my loved ones, but to always seek the Lord first. Both the guy and the girl must be happy in the Lord. They should all have a personal relationship with the Lord. When she is not happy, she must learn how to look to the Lord for guidance, and when he is not happy, he must also look to the Lord first. Only when both have looked to the Lord, only then when they share their problems to each other, they can really be positive, knowing that God takes care of them well. The problems with many couples is that there is no Jesus in the relationship, hence the frustrations of needing affection, attention and all the practical needs of every individual are never solved. Most people think that relationship is 50%+50% = 100%. Because of their loneliness, they think that their needs can be fulfilled and taken care of if they have a life partner (I am not referring to sex here, sex is just like playing badminton, you can’t play alone – I do not have the experience in this area yet, don’t pursue me for it). Most people also feel that the frustrations that they have while being single can be removed when they are attached. That is truly an error! If you cannot look to Jesus to solve all your frustrations when you are single, when you are attached, believe me your frustrations will double! That is why it is important to have Jesus in the centre of everything. Your studies, your health, your work, your finance – they all need the wisdom from above. Whenever your partner is not happy, you need the wisdom of Jesus to even talk and say the appropriate words to him/her. That is why, do not rush to talk to her, go to Jesus first, pray a prayer before you actually speak your piece of mind. Most of the time, I make mistakes by not going to Jesus first before I talk to my girlfriend, and my human stupidity often mess up everything. But God is gracious, He has given me a girlfriend with a big heart. My girlfriend is not someone who is expressive in speech, but she sometimes is able to correct me with the word of God. Just last night, she corrected me and said the governments are all elected by God because He is always in control (referring to the Hulu Selangor by-election). When she said that, straight away I remembered the verse that says we should all pray for those who are in authority, so that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness (1 Tim 2:2). I don’t know why I am talking about politics here, but who cares LOL. Anyway, I have to get back to work now, whatever it may be, God’s grace is sufficient in all these things. Look to Him. Fall in love with Jesus. I assure you, things will never be the same with Jesus. A good relationship is one that has this formula:

Guy(100% Jesus) + Girl (100% Jesus) = A Jesus-ly successful relationship

God bless all of you, be Jesus centred and be blessed!

April 22nd (Sunny)

hoyoku — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 02:00:00 +0000

(9.35 AM) -This morning as I looked at my girlfriend’s blog, I saw James 3:8 which actually came from this passage below. Therefore I thought it would be good for me to continue from this passage, to open you to the truths of the new testament which many do not understand and many have misquoted.

James 3:8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is a restless evil, it is full of deadly poison.
James 3:9 Therewith bless we the Lord and Father; and therewith curse we men, who are made after the likeness of God:
James 3:10 out of the same mouth cometh forth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.
James 3:11 Doth the fountain send forth from the same opening sweet water and bitter?
Jas 3:12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, yield olives, or a vine figs? Neither can salt water yield sweet.

To many, James 3:8 would have seemed to be a verse which tells people how evil our tongues are, but wait, do not take a single verse out of the bible and misread the meaning. When you go for an exam, by reading one line out of ten lines of your exam question, there is no way you can answer the question. Likewise, taking a verse out of its context will not do you any good. To make things clear, this verse is actually talking about the power of our tongue. But most often than not, we have heard people using their tongue for slander, for strife, as an instrument for jealousy. We’ve heard people say, “Oh, die la die la”, or “I am so stupid”. Well, if you said those things, and you believe in what you say, that is what will happen in reality, you either die or become stupid. I am taking this to the extreme because I want you to know the power of your tongue. The bible says that the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Ask me why I do not like negative words? It is precisely because I do not want to have anything to do with the work of the devil. The devil’s top-notch device is to accuse, that’s why he is called the “accuser of the brethren”, in short Mr. SA Tan. And to accuse, you need to engage your tongue. The new testament is not made up of an evil tongue, but of a grace-filled tongue. James asked the question in the passage above: shall we bless God and curse men then, what are you saying, are you saying that out of my same mouth shall come forth blessing and cursing (I have paraphrased the verse to facilitate understanding)? The answer given by him is that: THESE THINGS OUGHT NOT TO BE. The fountain can only give either sweet or bitter water. Jesus is the fountain that gave the sweet waters. From Him, there is no bitter water to give. In the same manner, the fig tree (a type of curse) cannot produce olive or vine (a type of life). In other words, either you speak blessing, or you speaking cursing, there is no way you can mix both. For me and my household, I determine to speak blessings. Whatever you believe in your heart and SAY, that will happen (Mark 11:23-24). When we receive Jesus into our hearts, we believe in our hearts and we also CONFESS (Romans 10:9-10). Obviously, the Lord wants us to use our tongue for good. Therefore, beloved brothers and sisters, start your day with some good words. The bible says “pleasant words are as honeycomb, sweet to the souls, and health to the bones (Proverbs 16:24)”. Beloved, if you cannot speak good things, it is better to keep your mouth shut. This is wisdom. And last but not least, speak with FAITH. Whether you feel it or don’t feel it, speak it. It is sometimes challenging to speak good words to the people around you when you feel tired and stress, but by all means, speak it. Believe me, your day will brighten up if you align your speech with the word of God. Blessed~

P/S: I am still learning the same things I am speaking. Thank God for opening my eyes.

April 20th (Rainy)

hoyoku — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 03:27:40 +0000

(11.17 AM) – I felt very bad not being able to help my students who came to me to ask about Transport II past year questions. I have to admit that my background in transport is very weak. Felt very sorry for those students. Well, I have to face my own limits. I am not good in every subject. There is nothing to be ashamed of, but how I wished I could help those two sincere students. Lord, help them.

A bit concerned on my Master’s progress

hoyoku — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 01:48:26 +0000

(9.47 AM) – I am suddenly abit worried about the progress of my masters degree. I felt like I am very slow behind the progress. Lord, help me!